Hellish Birthday
by xxcrushinglyclosexx
Summary: It is K's birthday and the title speaks for itself! Dedicated in honor to Claude K Winchester ♥ WAFFY one shot fic!


_Thunk!_

Was the noise that was made as Claude "K" Winchester's head intentionally collided face down against his office desk, next to a mountain of paper work. Without lifting up his head, K groaned, it was slightly muffled as in his face was still mashed against his desk. He deeply regretted slamming his head as in it only made his migraine worse than it already was. It felt like he had shot himself in the head with his own .44 magnum.

Why did this day, this day of all days, had to of turn out so hellishly?

K finally lifted his head, while rubbing his temples in hopes of soothing his aching head with no success, to stare blearily at nothing in particular. It had seemed like a perfectly ordinary day working at N-G Productions, but he was wrong, oh so wrong…

K groaned again and buried his face in his hands as the bad memories replayed in his mind.

"_Where is Shindou-san? We were suppose to start rehearsing half an hour ago!" Suguru's angry tone made everyone else in the studio room look up from what they were doing to pass the time waiting for Shuichi, who as usual was late._

_Hiro looked up at Suguru from tuning his guitar, he sighed and tried to calm down the seething keyboardist. "How about we just go ahead and practice our new tunes for the concert without Shuichi? Then we can have something to go with Shuichi's lyrics when he gets here."_

_Instead of calming down, Suguru just turned his frustration on Hiro. "That won't work! We need lyrics to rehearse and since Shindou-san is not here we don't have anything to practice with! Either someone go get him or I'm going to quit for today!" Suguru spat angrily at a very taken back Hiro._

_Sakano who had been wringing his tie nervously and staring at the clock on the wall, could only stare helplessly at the fuming Suguru._

_K was calmly sitting in one corner of the room polishing his favored .44 magnum the entire time, finally looked up after Suguru pronounced his threat. Totally un-perturbed by Suguru, K glanced at the clock and then got up sighing._

"_Fine, I will go get Shuichi, with force if necessary." K announced, smirking as he loaded up his .44 magnum which was no doubt the 'force' that was going to be used._

_Only Suguru looked happy that K was going to get Shuichi, he obviously thought Shuichi deserved to get a wake up call from K's gun. Hiro, on the other hand, looked disapproving but he didn't deny that his friend needed to be punished for keeping them all waiting. Sakano just looked even more nervous as he spoke up before K left the room._

"_K-san, you…you aren't really going to hurt Shindou-san right? We can't afford to have him hurt before the concert…if no rehearsing for the new song is done then we will have to cancel it."_

_Sakano resumed twisting his tie and stared at K pleadingly, who just chuckled lightly and did the 'V' sign over his shoulder so everyone could see it and said simply. _

"_No Problem." With that he opened the door and walked out._

_Finding Shuichi was easy enough, after all, he had implanted a micro chip in his vocalist's brain after he shot him (numerous times). He found out that Shuichi was sleeping in at Yuki's apartment and K tried waking him with "If you don't wake up it's going to be .44 magnum time! Bang! Bang!" _

_When that threat didn't get the reaction K wanted, he got fed up and shot the leg off the bed Shuichi was snoozing on. Which resulted in the bed collapsing and never the less, Shuichi got a very rude awakening._

_K only gave Shuichi enough time to get dressed and without letting him getting anything to eat, K dragged a whining Shuichi out of Yuki's apartment, threw him in his car and started it up._

"_K! You had better be glad that Yuki wasn't home today for what you did to his bed! And why didn't you let me get anything to eat? I won't be able to sing on an empty stomach!" Shuichi immediately began complaining as K drove out of the parking lot._

"_Because you were suppose to be at N-G working on that new song for the concert in Tokyo! You had better be praying if you don't have any lyrics!" K snarled as he swerved the car sharply around a corner bend, nearly making Shuichi fall right out of the passenger seat with a surprised yelp._

"_Concert? What con…OH MY GOD! THE CONCERT!" Shuichi suddenly screamed so loudly that K's ears ringed and nearly began to bleed._

"_Oh so now you remember? Took you long enough!" K barked sarcastically as Shuichi began to wail at his own misfortune._

"_But K! I don't have any lyrics!" Shuichi shrieked and began to pull at his hair furiously as he waited for K to explode._

"_WHAT!" K, as Shuichi expected, exploded. He whirled over, not paying any attention to the road, ripping his gun out of its holster to point it savagely at Shuichi's head._

"_K! LOOK OUT!" Shuichi bellowed, ignored his soon to be gun peril and pointed straight ahead at the road as K had turned his attention to him instead. A loud, persistent truck honking was coming from where Shuichi was pointing._

_K turned back to the wheel to see that he had accidentally drove off onto the wrong side of the road and that he and Shuichi were about to be in a head on collision with a 10 wheeler truck. _

"_Goddammit!" K screeched as he swerved the car just in time as it was only an inch away from what would have been a very nasty car crash. The truck drove past still angrily honking its horn, neither K nor Shuichi took any notice that the truck driver was flipping them off._

"_OH MY GOD!" Shuichi was screaming his head off the entire time and clinging to K as if he was his life line. K would have been screaming too if Shuichi wasn't strangling him at the moment. _

_Without even get to catch their breathes or let alone recover from their close call, K realized he had turned on thewrong side of the road againbefore it was too late. He had swerved his car to get out of a head on collision with a 10 wheeler truck only to get in a head on collision with, luckily, a much smaller convertible car._

_They both flew forward from the impact, Shuichi who wasn't wearing a seat belt, would of flown out the windshield if his air bag didn't explode out and save him in time. K, who was wearing a seat belt, got thrown forward and then wrenched back against his seat belt, nearly getting his neck snapped in half. _

_Both cars came to a stop and everything stood still after a few minutes._

_K groaned and lifted up his head, he felt dazed and his neck hurt like hell. Barely comprehending what was going on, he could hear people screaming and an ambulance in the background. He could also feel someone at his right poking him in the side, asking over and over. "K! Are you okay? Please say something! K!"_

_He turned his head to his right and immediately regretted it as his whip lashed neck popped and cracked back into place. "Shit!"_

_Shuichi was smiling now looking relieved at K's response. "I thought you were dead! Are you okay?"_

_K groaned again and rubbed his aching neck. "I am fine; my neck hurts like a bitch though. What about you?" He looked over at Shuichi worriedly._

"_Oh I'm okay; the air bag caught me just in time. An ambulance is here, they are checking the guy we crashed into right now..." Shuichi drifted off as K opened his door and slowly got out. K felt like screaming; that or blowing off his guns when he got a good look at the car wreck. The front of his car was totaled and looked beyond repair next to the other car that was just dented and actually looked repairable._

_Shuichi got out of the car to look at the disaster as a policeman came over to check on them. "You guys alright?" The policeman asked as he regarded K warily, who looked more than capable of murder._

"_Yeah, we are okay." Shuichi replied dazedly in as he looked on in shock at thewreck._

_The policeman asked for a description for what had happened and how. K explained everything and luckily he didn't get fined, sued, or a ticket for the accident, just a call for a tow truck to take both cars away to a repair shop._

"_Dammit!" K cursed as he watched his car get towed away, he felt like shooting and killing something repeatedly. Shuichi gave K a sympathetic look and asked._

"_Now how are we going to get to N-G?"_

_Before K could answer, the policeman offered them a ride and they both took it readily. By the time they got there it was way too late to rehearse and not to mention they had nothing to work with anyways. K and Shuichi reluctantly walked into their studio room, only to be bomb boarded by nerve shot Sakano._

"_WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN K-SAN! YOU WERE GONE FOR AN HOUR! FUJISAKI HAS ALREADY LEFT!"_

_K just stared calmly at Sakano who looked like a nervous wreck and Hiro who got up from the same chair he had been sitting in for more than an hour. Both Sakano and Hiro waited for an explanation expectantly._

"_We got in a car crash. Shuichi had forgotten about the concert and so he hasn't written any lyrics for it." K stated it calmly as if nothing happened._

"_N-n-n-o lyrics! C-c-c-ar crash! OH NO!" Sakano fell off the deep end and turned into his human twister state flying everywhere, screaming his head off._

_Hiro, paying no mind to Sakano, looked concerned over at K and Shuichi. "Are you both okay? What happened?"_

_Shuichi explained everything to Hiro while K tried to block out Sakano's screaming in the background. It wasn't helping his migraine other than making it worse._

"_Will you shut up!" K whipped out his gun and began to teach Sakano how to tap dance with it._

_Sakano ran out of the studio room screaming in obscene Japanese with something along the lines of "crazy bastard Americans with guns" and some other words K regretted he could translate that were directed towards him._

_Hiro and Shuichi were staring at K in fear as if they expected him to turn his gun on them next._

_K just turned around, still in his calm demeanor, said as if nothing had happened. "You both are excused from work today. We won't get anything done if we don't have a producer, keyboardist, or lyrics. Shuichi, I expect to have lyrics for the concert song and for you to come in here an extra hour early tomorrow or else."_

_With that, K grinned evilly and pointed his magnum at Shuichi's head to confirm his threat._

_Shuichi nodded looking scared and scurried out of the room to get away from K. Hiro stayed behind, he looked at K concerned, unaffected by his gun pointing._

"_K-san, will you be okay? I can give you a lift on my motorcycle if you need it."_

_K smiled genuinely at Hiro's concern. "No thank you, Hiroshi. I will stay here tonight; it's not like I haven't slept in my office before."_

_Hiro looked bothered. "Are you sure? It wouldn't be trouble for me at all."_

_K chuckled and patted Hiro on the shoulder, affectionately. "I will be fine; it's nothing to worry your pretty little head over."_

_Hiro still didn't look convinced by K's care free attitude. "Okay then, if there is anything I can do let me know." Hiro packed up his guitar and turned to the door to leave._

"_Hiro?"_

"_Yes, K-san?"_

"_Thanks for your concern."_

"_No thanks required." Hero turned around to smile back at K and left._

_K watched Hiro leave and as soon as the guitarist was out of sight, his cell phone rang. K answered it immediately. "Hello?"_

"_Sorry to bother you K-san, this is Tohma Seguchi. Ryuichi is making a fuss on the 2nd floor, apparently someone has locked Kumagoro, and themselves, in the janitor's closet. I am too busy at the moment to investigate myself and as Ryuichi's former manager I'm sure you have dealt with…this kind of stuff before with Ryu-chan. Could you do me a favor and take care of it please?"_

_K sighed softly and replied. "Yes of course, Seguchi-san. I will take care of it immediately."_

"_Thank you K-san. Sorry again if this is a bother to you, but Ryu-chan is out of my hands right now."_

"_I understand; it's not a bother at all."_

"_Okay, please call me when you are finished."_

"_No Problem."_

_K hung up and didn't stop himself from groaning loudly. He was in no condition, position, or mood to deal with his former man-child of a singer. But as a hired man, he did everything he was ordered to do without fail._

_He loaded up his magnum before leaving the room and took the elevator from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor. The second he got into the elevator he could hear someone screaming and a loud, repeating of thumping noises of something connecting against metal from the floor above him._

_The noise became earsplitting as something along the lines of "KUMAGORO!" was being screamed before K even stepped out of the elevator. As he stepped out, K noticed that all of the workers of the 2nd floor were scurrying around looking highly disturbed about the noise and whatever was happeningaround a corner of the hallway._

_K just walked down the hall looking nonchalant, despite the fact his head felt like exploding from his migraine, and turned the corner only to find a chibi Ryuichi half screaming-half bawling "GIMME BACK KUMAGORO! I WANT KUMAGORO! KUMAGORO!" at the top of his lungs while kicking and pounding on the janitor's door._

_K just staredcalmy at Ryuichi as he leaned over and picked him up by the back of his scruff. He easily held him a foot off the ground as if Ryuichi was a bag of feathers. As if he was still in front of the door instead of hanging a foot off the ground in front of K, Ryuichi continued throwing a fit still screaming and bawling._

"_Ryuichi-san, what's wrong?"_

_K couldn't understand why he even bothered to try and talk to Ryuichi. He was screaming so loud that K couldn't talk or let alone think for that matter. So just reached up and closed his free hand over Ryuichi's mouth, preventing him from making a sound. Ryuichi finally stopped struggling and opened his eyes, which had angry tears in them, looking surprised._

"_Calm down Ryuichi-san. Now, what's wrong?"_

_K carefully took his hand away from Ryuichi's mouth to let him talk. "K-SAN! THAT MEANIE TOOK KUMAGORO!" Ryuichi shrieked in K's face._

_K blinked. "Who is the meanie?"_

_Ryuichi suddenly looked dumbfounded; apparently he himself didn't even know who the 'meanie' was. "Well…uh…um…I don't know…"_

_K sighed and shook his head. "Fine…okay then…can you tell me what happened?"_

"_Well, me and Kumagoro were playing one of ourfavorite games, Hide and Seek. It was my turn to count while Kumagoro hid and while I was wondering what came after 3, when this…tor…na…do…"_

"_Tornado?"_

"_Yes, na no da! This tor…na…do with glasses flew by screaming and it went into the closet where Kumagoro was hiding and locked the door! Ryu-chan got so mad and started beating the door so Kumagoro could come back!"_

_Ryuichi had angry tears in his eyes and prepared to throw himself against the door again. K stopped before he even tried and consoled him with his offer to help._

"_Ryuichi-san, how about I get Kumagoro back for you?_

_Ryuichi began jumping up and down with excitement. "Really na no da? YAY! Ryu-chan loves K-san!" With that, Ryuichi threw himself into a glomp around K's waist._

_K smiled at his former singer then stood in front of the door and pulled out his magnum and pointed it at the doorknob. "Stand back!" He ordered at Ryuichi, who scuttled away backwards. K made quick work of shooting the doorknob off. As he lifted his leg to kick the door down it suddenly flew open and smashed him against the wall. K let out a yelp of pain and surprise as the back of his head hit the wall and his forehead collided with the door._

"_KUMAGORO!"_

_K slid out from behind the door, while rubbing his aching head, to watch Ryuichi throw himself in the closet and pounced on Kumagoro. After Ryuichi ran away with Kumagoro at hand singing "Na No Da" at the top of his lungs, K checked inside the closet and found out that the "tornado with glasses" turned out to be Sakano. After having to escort Sakano at gun pointout of N-G Productions to his car to make sure he didn't cause anymore havoc in his delirious state, K did as he promised and called Tohma._

"_Seguchi-san? This is K; I took care of Ryuichi-san and the cause of the problem."_

"_Ah K-san, thank you. I am very grateful for everything you did. I hope it wasn't a bother especially since you are so busy…"_

"_As I said before it's no problem. Just glad to help."_

"_Okay, good to hear. Also I wanted to tell you that I had some paperwork that needs to be done on your office desk."_

"_Sure I will get to right away, Seguchi-san." K hung up and sighed heavily. Paperwork was the last thing he needed right now, especially since his head felt likehe shot himself in the head with his bazookafrom the migraine and numerous times he hit it today._

_He reached his office door in only a few minutes, while searching for the keys to it he noted all the bullet holes in the door from all the times he had vented out his frustration. It was exactly what he felt like doing right now, especially when he got into his office only to find that damned mountain of paperwork…_

K lifted his head from his hands as the memories faded in place of his migraine. Dammit all. Leaning backwards in his office chair, K glowered down at the paperwork that was innocently laying in a mess of empty cigarette packets, full ashtrays, bullets shells, empty beer cans…and noticed smaller pile of letters and junk mail next to the paper work. He picked up all of it and set it his lap to shift through for anything of interest to him.

He didn't expect anyone to remember what day it was or let alone even his…at that thought K frowned and shook his head quickly to rid himself of it.

That was the last thing he wanted to think about, especially on this day…Still frowning, K placed the letters back on his desk and found himself glancing up at the gun calendar on his wall.

It was August 21st; he was now 37 years old.

37…37…37

The number echoed in his head as if mocking him that he was gotten and still getting older. But it wasn't like he expected anyone to remember or let alone any happy birthday wishes and gifts. He certainly didn't want to celebrate for getting older, though at the same time he wished for someone to cheer him up right now. This was how he spent his birthday, having a hellish day at work, car-less, and now trapped in his office with a mountain of paperwork…

Pushing the thoughts of his misfortunes from his mind, K turned back to the paperwork. Glaring down at it, he half-heartedly shoved his mail aside to one end of the desk next to his Tamagochi and electronic diary and pulled out the first sheet of paperwork. Glancing over it briefly as he pulled out a pen (though he preferred to pull out his gun or his cigarette lighter instead) and prepared to start filling it out. He paused before the pen even touched the paper and set it down, growling.

Dammit, he couldn't concentrate. There was no way in hell he could finish all the paperwork in this state.

Feeling distracted, K let his eyes and mind wander over his messy desk and noticed a small letter sticking out under the mess on his the desk that he had overlooked. He pulled it out from under the mess and looked it over. His address was handwritten on it, but there was no return address.

Slightly paranoid, K shook the letter carefully and held it up to the light to see through what was inside. As far as he could tell there was nothing dangerous or unusual in it. None the less, he opened it carefully and a small folded piece of paper slid out. He unfolded and straightened it out before reading. Written with a crayon in an almost chicken scratch letters it said…

**Happy Birthday Papa!**

**I love you,**

**Michael**

K smiled at the simple, but yet very much to the point letter. Maybe today wasn't as bad as it seemed now. Like reaching the light at the end of a long and dark tunnel, his birthday had brightened up.

_**Owari**_

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR BELOVED AND FAVORITE TRIGGER HAPPY MANAGER K! WE (I) LOVE YA AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH!

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY K!**


End file.
